Can't deny the mirror!

So I get to my ZUMBA class. Was actually a little scared because I have never actually done an hour. I am looking around and the other women, all but one were my age, even older. The young one of course was in front of me with her perfect little ass. I am super excited and then the instructor walks in, she is well in her 50's, a bit chunky and I was like WHAT?? We line up and that's when I see myself in the mirror! Is that me? No, yes, yuck!! I wore stretchy Capri's. t-shirt and my tennis shoes. I was disgusted! I could see the roles under my t-shirt, my body has a weird way of having a chunk of fat on one hip and not the other, and my choice of pants did not help that. My other complaint on my body is that my leg are the same size from my calves to my feet, and the way my socks cut off my circulation I looked like I had fluid build up in my ankles. Yuck! My first thought was, Jon must really love me, or he is just hoping I stick to my plan, HE SAW ME LIKE THIS!! Do I run? No, I did the next best thing and moved to the back of the class, behind the hot girl, so I can't really see myself. The class was super fun. The instructor had more rhythm and stamina than most half her age. She was confident with her far from perfect body and bat wings. But as I ZUMBA'ed the night I made some plans for me.

I came home to my wonderful family. I stopped by walmart and got a Roasted chicken and salad. I talked to my mom, who has lost a ton of weight over the last year or so and keeps losing and looking great and she said it just clicked for her. I don't want it to click in my 60's but now. So I confessed my disgust and plan of action with my husband. He looked at me like nothing is wrong. But I can't imagine he is not cheering this on in his head. I told him I wanted to deserve a boob job before I turned 40 and he was great with that.

So, to end this, I didn't have any alcohol, eating not perfect, but better, and new plan for today. Bringing my running stuff to work, going to run a mile at lunch, see how this goes. I have about 3 weeks and a couple of days till my 5K and I am NOT ready!

So here is to all the excuses, the regrets, the guilt...I am leaving you slowly but surely and taking over my life!

Here is to a great day!

Renee