Feeling guilty

At my son's birthday party I ran around so much and danced that I am sure I offset any bad choices I made. We had a great time. I started a new job and it looks like I will be working everyday through the week. This I am not use to. I get up at the crack of dawn, get lunches ready, outfits, lists for nanny, try to clean a bit. I put my boys on a schedule (thanks Kimmon) that will take 2 weeks for them to get use to. My goal is to get up by 5 am, work out, get ready for work. So that means I need to have all this other stuff done at night. Ok, I am rambling about mommy stuff and not my diet. So I get home yesterday, I already cheated on the diet, they brought donuts to the orientation I was in, I had el pollo loco for lunch, and a peice of V-day candy. I get home, and what is in my face?? Birthday cake!! Yes, I started eating the frosting off it while I was cooking dinner! AAGGHH!! So after we ate I let Jax and Zane destroy it and I threw it away. Goals, again: Drink a lot more water, exercise at least 5 times a week (Yay, my mother in law bought us Wii fit plus) Curb the sweet tooth! Have a good day starving like I am. Renee (12 lbs, give or take)

Friday, scale day

Well after a week of fighting this diet I lost 1 lbs, which I am thrilled about. I am looking back and seeing my mistakes, and part of me knows if I had stuck to it better I would have lost more, the other part is very happy I lost a lbs and didn't gain 3. My goal is to make 99% of my choices good ones, but leave that tiny buffer for a craving. So, for this week, even though I have said it in the past, drink more water, get more active, and make most of my choices good ones. I am 1 more lbs closer to my goal, and that should keep me motivated. Renee (12 more labs to go)

January 27. Getting over fear of ball sweat

So, this week I joined the gym.

I haven't been a member of a gym in almost 10 years. I have a fear of germs, crowded space (people breathing), and above all ball sweat. Yes, you read that right. Not sure what the phobia is called, but it terrifies me. When I go into the gym and look around at all of the heavily breathing people, my heart begins to pound....then as I look at the equipment, I just imagine ball sweat on everything.

I dug deep and went for it. 30 minutes of running and then about 45 minutes of strength training. Thats all it took. Im hooked. I felt amazing. Im so sore....a sore that running alone does not give me. Today was day 3 at they gym and Im shooting for 5 days a week.

Looking forward to weighing in this friday!

This sucks!

I am struggling, everyday. I am trying to make the right choices, I really am, and most of them are good. Yet i feel bloated and puffy! Why is this so hard. Why do you do so good, then BAM! You think you can get away with murder? I asked my husband to get me a cadbury cream egg last night while he was at the store, what did he bring home?? All the stuff to make Fondue!! Sabotage!! Sabotage!! Then he tells me, just eat one thing!! Are you serious!! Could I get to a point where I say NO to that stuff? Ok, here we go again. Regroup, just because you lose a few pounds its not the golden ticket to Fuck up! Renee, struggling again with hopefully 13 lbs!

Scale day

I had a really rough day yesterday. All my decisions weren't perfect, but I tried to drink lots of water, eat some veggies, and make my meals sensible. I feel better today, like I am focused again. Ever since having my second son, about two weeks before my cycle I have a day that I think my life is going to fall apart, yesterday was that day. But today is a new and wonderful day! So what did I lose........drum roll.......3lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, I would have been happy with 1, I am ex tactic with 3!!!!! It just goes to show if 99% of your decisions are good, you get active, even if its a little dancing with your kids, you can still have a piece of candy, chocolate chip cookie, or a cocktail at the end of your stressful day and STILL lose weight! So good luck to all you starving mommies....there is a light at the end of this LOOOOONNNNGGGG tunnel!
Renee (a not so impossible 13lbs!)

January 21, 2010. Day 2 of "getting it"

So yesterday I had an awakening.

This is life.

I can either fight it, continue to waste time looking for the magic pill, the quick fix, cracking a joke or I can get real. I chose to get real. I can NOT keep starving myself all day, and eat a big dinner and cocktails..... and actually expect to change my body. .... even with running.

Ive been craving dinner leftovers today. So, rather than fixate on it all day long. I chose to have a small serving for breakfast, and I'll opt for a protein shake for dinner. I dont feel guilty and I will burn it off throughout the day.

Ive also released my addiction to the scale. Ive vowed to only weigh myself on the first of the month.

Im no longer saying I have to loose 46 lbs. by June 1st. Theres no end date to this. If it takes until June of 2011...so be it.

Each day I am committed to make healthy eating habits for myself and healthy cooking habits for my family.

I was going to get a two year subscription to Savour (foodie magazine). I opted for Runners World instead.

I tossed out the pack of cigarettes hidden over my stove behind the vases...the pack typically will last me a year.

Im reorganizing my closet and tossing fat clothes. Gym wear front and center.

Im committed to speak kindly to myself and find a part of my body that is beautiful everyday (even if its earlobes for the first two weeks).

My social calendar is going to look different. Instead of meet for martinis, its going to be meet for a run. Instead of taking boys bowling where ill be tempted with beer, Im taking them sledding where I can run hills in the snow..... Being the active mom they love.

Im doing this for my marriage, my boys, but mostly for myself. Im taking control of my life.

Little changes will bring big results.

~Kimmon (46 lbs to go)

Hmmm

I am not sure what it is, I am struggling this morning!! I am sitting here starving, thinking all kinds of bad thoughts. I had egg over medium and a yogurt, my coffee, usually that holds me over until about 10am. But found myself looking around for something to eat, it it wasn't good choices. I noticed I now am always talking to my subconscious. Debating with myself, coaching myself, trying to make the right choice. Even though I didn't want it, i grabbed a V8. It seems to be helping, and so does writing this. I have lots to do today, so I need to keep busy and make the right choices. I am going to make some green tea and do laundry, and try to keep doing the right thing.
Renee (16lbs to go!)